


Closing In

by MuscleMemory



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:11:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuscleMemory/pseuds/MuscleMemory
Summary: Canon show verse, Alec's POV after Izzy saved him and Aldertree up to the I love yous.Aldertree’s words echo in his mind like thunderclaps as he rushes through every room, checking every corner of the institute, every time he doesn’t find a body a little hope sparks in his heaving chest, but also a little more horror before the next.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlyxHavok](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyxHavok/gifts).



> This was a prompt from two friends I asked for advice about writing something for a friend's birthday. I don't usually like writing show canon at all, but this wouldn't let me go until I wrote it. 
> 
> Again, happy birthday Alyx!! <3

 

 

He took his sister inside to safety, relieved that she came to her senses, worried for her state of mind and physical health, but she’s back and he will do whatever it takes to help her through it.

He hears a sound that makes him freeze in movement and strain his hearing. It’s a mingle of clanging, screeching and screaming as if he were under water. When he rushes out of the room, he sees a blinding white light spilling from every window and crevice from the institute’s walls, through the roof of the cathedral into the night sky.

He stands frozen, his lungs so tight he can barely breathe, his stomach turning into knots.

His body wills his feet to move, faster, down the stairs, taking too many steps at a time yet sure-footed, and he hurries into the institute’s main hall, his legs slowing as his eyes take in the view before him. Bodies, corpses, so many of them.

“No.”

Somebody activated the Soul Sword and killed them all.

He turns towards the people who are still alive in the room, his Parabatai, Clary, Simon. _She activated it, she must have. How? Why? No._

_“_ You did this! You activated the sword?” He doesn’t want to believe it, maybe Valentine found another way, but he knows there is none, and this is the truth.

But she denies it and he doesn’t understand, and that feeling of sickening dread grows, his Parabatai rune harsher, and his eyes meet Jace’s and the shock of the realization hits him even before he hears the words.

“I did it.”

Jace’s voice tremors, he looks shattered, a shell of himself, in so much pain and guilt, still unable to comprehend it himself.

Alec’s left in disbelief as he listens to Jace’s explanation that barely registers in his mind. There’s something pushing to the forefront, something darker, more horrifying than the scene before him.

“Where’s Magnus?”

They have to know, they must have seen him, someone, anyone. He can’t have been…

“He wasn’t here, was he?”

Was he?! His heartbeat’s so loud it’s going to break out of his chest, white hot panic rising that he can barely control.

Jace doesn’t know, but Clary… they portaled in upstairs… _they_. He was here, is here _._ But not _here._ They split up. They don’t know.

“Oh god.”

Panic hits him full force, his throat raw and dry, barely letting air into his lungs, his whole body’s shaking but also moving, away from his Parabatai, his torment dulled and veiled by one thought only. Will he find Magnus dead or alive?

His bones feel like liquid, he’s struggling to get enough air into his lungs, his eyes almost unseeing, a film of haziness laid over them, everything blurring but the bodies.

There are bodies, strewn throughout the institute and he needs to find every single one of them, he needs to find _him._ But if he will he could as well be one of them.

He’s being chased by fear and need, won’t rest until he knows for sure, until he knows whether he lost him, now that he only just found him, only just realized what he means to him.

_That’s when I realized a Shadowhunter could never be with a Downworlder, no matter how strong our feelings might be._

Aldertree’s words echo in his mind like thunderclaps as he rushes through every room, checking every corner of the institute, every time he doesn’t find a body a little hope sparks in his heaving chest, but also a little more horror before the next.

His phone isn’t working and his mind isn’t able to function, to tell him why, it doesn’t matter, he couldn’t bear for it to keep ringing without an answer. He needs to find him, he needs to _see_ him with his own eyes, touch him with his hands, make sure he is-

He stops dead as if he ran into a wall. His vision is tunnel like, the only thing in focus a corpse on the floor at the end of the corridor. _It’s him! No, it can’t be! Face the truth, you have to._

He’s moving without hearing the sounds of his steps, without breathing, his fingers are numb with cold, his insides contracted in anguish, everything is closing in and the walls are trembling, moving, coming down on him.

_It’s not him._

His eyes burn with a searing dryness and he closes them for just a second, gasping, his shaky hand finding solidness behind him, against the wall to steady him as he takes one long breath back into his lungs before he moves on, knowing how much more ground he has to cover.

Daylight’s spilling in and he’s back on the roof where he knows he couldn’t be, but he had to look anyway. Maybe he got away, maybe he portaled out in time. He couldn’t find any sign of him, but the fear is still there, his phone still doesn’t work and he rushes downstairs, going through every possible space he may have missed, big enough to hide a body.

_He isn’t inside._

People are spilling in as he reaches the front steps, none of them who he seeks, who he longs to see, a maddening ache inside his chest, in his throat, his body, in the core of his being. _Where is he?!_

He barely feels his own body anymore, coldness crept into his muscles and bones, taking a hold of him, his breaths ragged and labored, his mind out of control.

Did the sword’s power reach the outside? How far? How far does he have to go? Where does he start? What is he going to do? What if he won’t find him? What if he’s just gone? What if-

He feels a grip on his left arm, and he whirls around to see-

He could break down and sob, weep and crumble, but seeing Magnus alive is so overpowering, flooding his whole body with relief that is almost as shocking as the fear of his death and he bolts towards him, gripping him, pulling him close, pressing their bodies as tightly together as possible.

He can hardly believe it but Magnus is alive, he’s well, he’s safe. And feeling starts to return to his body as he inhales him deeply, his warmth touching him.

He barely registers as they part again, his eyes transfixed on Magnus’ vivid face; beautiful, _alive._

“Magnus, I thought-”

He doesn’t get to finish, doesn’t want to, doesn’t ever want to think of a world where Magnus couldn’t exist again. _Impossible._

He hears Magnus’ voice, his words barely registering, all he can focus on is that he wasn’t here when it happened, he was spared.

And then he knows with pin sharp clarity. It just takes a moment for his mind to gather the words, to come down from the torment and strain from the last hours. He didn’t think he’d ever get to do this, say the words.

“Look… Magnus, on every mission I’ve ever been on, I’ve never felt that type of fear, ever. Not knowing if you were alive or dead, I- I was terrified.”

His mind went back to what he knows, what he can use to express these feelings that are too powerful, too fragile, yet the deepest of any kind he’s ever known, and there is no other explanation, no denying. He doesn’t want to, he doesn’t need to. He knows Magnus feels it, too - every moment those warm eyes, his soothing voice, his actions have shown him - rushing through his mind. 

“So was I.”

He can see it as clear as a beacon of light in the darkest night. Magnus’ eyes don’t hide anything from him.

It’s on him to tell him, show him, never give him any reason for doubt ever again.

Magnus’ hand on his arm steadies him enough to find the words, finally, irrevocably.

“Magnus, I… I love you.”

He sees the shift in those soft, brown eyes, the surprise fading to serenity. He knows it, he believes it.

“I love you, too.”

The Earth could shatter all around them, swallow everything, they’d still be here, together.

The words he’s heard other people say, meaning what he’s been longing for for such a long time, knowing he’s worthy, he found it, at last.

_Someone’s going to love you heart and soul._

Their mouths collide, no time for gentleness, his hands gripping Magnus’ shoulders, needing to hold onto him, needing to feel and breathe him, needing Magnus to trust him like he’s never trusted before that he will never take him for granted, that he will keep his heart safe and never break it.

He feels Magnus’ hands, gentle and loving, spending comfort and safety and he feels his warm skin on his face, their foreheads pressing together, and he’s again, or still, he doesn’t know or care, out of breath, his eyes fluttering open as the kiss ends, making sure one last time that this is real, that Magnus is real and here in his arms and it’s the only place he wants to be.

And when he is sure, he wraps his arms around Magnus’ strong body, pushing close, closer, their arms embracing each other, holding on firmly, Magnus’ warmth and love filling him up.

He can finally breathe easy again.


End file.
